We are the Champions

That song keeps buzzing through my mind because the volleyball team I'm on for the Michael Chang Christian Sports League took home the championship trophy earlier today! I've played every year for the past five years, and though the members of the team have changed here and there, we all seem to feel a collective camaraderie for the teams submitted through Chinese Baptist Church, which my team was.

Two years ago, we were undefeated and earned a bye in the playoffs, only to lose in the second round of playoffs. Last year, we had another strong season and went all the way to the championships but fizzled out due to nerves, tentative playing, and blowing a huge lead that my superstar friend Nick had carved out for us. It was a very tough loss (we didn't even get to play a third set since we lost the first two), and many of us were bitterly disappointed.

This year, we were determined to be different. Our team was named "Catch the Spirit" and was made up mostly of the same people from last year. The competition level in our division seemed to dip a bit from years past, and that combined with us being a strong team resulted in us losing only once en route to the championships today. We were set to play against a young team called the "Peacemakers", who happened to be the only team that beat us. Prior to today, we actually had played them three times, winning 2-1, losing 0-3, and winning 2-1.

Last night, I got to thinking about being in competitive mode. I'm a rather focused and competitive person but have tried to ease up the past few years. I try to get back to enjoying the sport regardless of the score or how the team is playing and trying to keep the team spirit up. Since this is a Christian Sports League, the main focus is on relationships rather than winning, and honestly, I feel guilty sometimes when my team is dominating others. I get tempted to scale back and not play as hard, but that often backfires because the opposing team IS playing hard and wants to win too. Last night, I resolved to go into the championships with "no mercy".

It paid off. And I'm glad to say that on my way to the game this afternoon, I was in a relaxed, peaceful mode as my soul conversed with God. In the secret place, in the things unspoken, I found the balance where I didn't need to come into the gym revved up. I didn't need to train my mind to have a winning mentality or to visualize our opponents as someone to vanquish. I simply played with freedom- focused but loose, and allowing my body and my skills to fall naturally in line with what was happening. Sure, there were a few moments of concern when the game score was close, but I was able to play some of my best volleyball of the season today, and it was the perfect time to have my game on. Our team won the first two games, so there was no need to play a third.

I am very proud of my teammates and what we were able to accomplish after so many years of trying. While the trophy was nice, it didn't bring about a tremendously deep sense of elation, which surprised me a little bit. I'm glad though, for it shows that it really wasn't about the trophy. I guess the feeling I have is...satisfaction. I'm very happy for the team and that the trophy will be kept at CBC, but for myself, I'm just glad to have played well and with that freedom I mentioned.

I'd like to live life like that. To look back at the end of my days and feel like I lived in Christ's freedom and to feel a sense of satisfaction that I lived well, with focus and purpose and didn't lose sight of what was most important. I'm still in discovery of what that freedom means, but I'm happy to have experienced some of it in my life, and I look forward to more.

"Dear God, thank you for today. I pray that You were honored in my worship and conduct. Thank you for the freedom to play and to live. Show me more with each day what living in Christ's freedom means and use it to bless others for Your Kingdom. Thank you for the breathtaking beauty You place all around me. In Jesus' Name, Amen".

Diamonds in the Rough

Yesterday, I had the privilege of being a Diamond guest at a Mariner's game. My friend, CP, received four passes as a gift and invited me to attend along with two of her other friends. I'd never heard of the Diamond treatment, but I was prepped a bit by CP, as well as my cousin who had been a guest a few months ago. It was quite an experience!

I picked up CP and we drove to Safeco Field with the intent of meeting Will and Stephanie there. CP said the parking was also paid for, which is a blessing if you are in any way familiar with prices around the ball park. We drove up to the gate and several attendants eyed us suspiciously, perhaps because we were there early (10 AM, when the game was scheduled at 1 PM). An older female attendant approached me and I handed her the Diamond parking pass and asked if I was in the correct lot. Immediately, upon seeing the pass, her demeanor changed and she became very friendly and pleasant, telling me how to get to the upper level reserved for us and said, "You may park ANYWHERE you want!". CP and I got a chuckle out of that as we drove up to park. Upon exiting my car, another attendant approached us, also looking a bit skeptical, perhaps because we were the ONLY car parked and/or because we didn't really look the part of a Diamond guest. CP immediately informed him of our elite passes and he also perked up and became very gregarious. He explained how to get to the special entrances for Diamond guests, but added that "You may enter ANY gate you want!". Hahaha! Funny how a glossy piece of paper immediately commanded respect!

CP and I met up with Will and Steph and we had drinks at a restaurant while waiting for the gates to open. We made our way over to the "special" entrance and were ushered into a nice dining area reserved for Diamond guests. A beautiful brunch buffet was set up with various salads and salmon, fruit, pasta, an omelette station, carved ham and desserts galore. We were promptly seated and assigned a server who explained that all the food was 4-star quality and that all food and drink was complimentary. I stuck with the lighter fare, but really enjoyed everything I tasted. When we ventured outside, our seats were four aisles up from home plate. Amazing. Even better, we had menus at our seats and anytime we wanted anything, we'd check off our selections, hand them to an attendant, and they would bring the food back to our seat! What service! I enjoyed some fish and chips, teriyaki beef, fruit, and a Mac & Jack's. The weather was a bit chilly, so the four of us would occasionally venture back inside to warm up on plush leather furniture and watch the game on the dozen plasma televisions around the place.

It really was special treatment, and I couldn't help but notice what a marked difference it made that we were "Diamond" guests rather than regular Mariner's fans. Wealth, power, status- how easily they can influence how others view and treat us. Beauty as well. While I believe that all people, being made in God's image, deserve respect, I admit it is rather difficult to be impartial. I only notice this when confronted with someone who is very different from what I usually encounter. Someone who perhaps isn't clean, or is homeless or destitute, or addicted to alcohol or drugs, or is simply socially awkward. It's easy to admire and gravitate toward the beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny people. I need to be mindful of not favoring them over others who perhaps aren't as attractive in my eyes.

I think of the passage from James 2:

My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

We are all imperfect and seriously flawed, which is why we need a perfect Savior. Even as followers of Christ, we are works-in-process, "diamonds in the rough". Yet, in God's eyes, we are all beautiful and precious, and He deeply desires us to know in our heart, mind and soul how much He loves us and wants us to be in fellowship with Him.

"Lord, thank you for Your infinitely deep and abiding love. Help me to see others as You do. Reveal to me the moments when I show favoritism and help me to love others, regardless of who they are, in a manner that reflects Christ and honors Him. Amen".

Exploration

It is a lazy but glorious Saturday. The morning clouds have given way to brilliant sunshine and light blue skies tinted with the slightest hint of gray. It is supposed to be the warmest day of the year so far, and yet I find myself content in the refuge of my bedroom- eating, staring out the window, reading a book, drowsily snuggling with my cat, reflecting.

I'm more of a homebody than an outdoor enthusiast, but I do enjoy savoring Creation. I should do it more often- spend time exploring, hiking, etc. There is a stillness of soul that I carry with me wherever I am, but I should make a point of re-awakening my senses to the other ways that God would speak to me.

Be that as it may, the agenda for today is quite light and primarily happens indoor. I plan to wash up, change out of my pj's and stop by my old church's gym for a while to encourage one of the volleyball teams that are getting ready for playoffs tomorrow. Afterward, I'll visit my family for a while, and the rest I will play by ear or as the Lord leads.

I sense that there is great opportunity for me to find balance in connecting with others while also feeding my soul in my private moments with God. They are both purposeful and not mutually exclusive, but I would be wise in identifying that one or the other may be at play in any given moment. This would probably help me during times when I feel lonely or bored.

"Lord, may I explore the day and find the moments of connection and beauty and inspiration. May I be sensitive to the words and places you would have me visit, for the benefit of others, myself, and for Your glory. Amen".

Tired and Uninspired

That's about how I'm feeling right now, Lord. I've been "going at it" for a while and I'm thankful for the opportunities to do things I enjoy. It's nice to have a full calendar. You know I don't do so well when I've got too much spare time on my hands. Thank you for nice housemates, my cat Max, a decent job with great bosses and co-workers, good health, my family, a good church. Thanks for a couple of new friendships that have been made. You know I look forward to deeper fellowship and I pray that it would come in Your timing.

Psalm 37:3-5

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

I remember laying in bed last week and appreciating how You have been gracious in providing some of my heart's desires and I do trust You Lord. Forgive me when my impatience or loneliness compels me to hope for things to come faster. For so long You have been my sole refuge and deep Companion, as should be so. Thank you for not abandoning me even when I felt like I was abandoned. Perhaps a sense of loneliness in the spiritual pilgrimage is normal. Jesus, You must have felt lonely at times, growing up and even when surrounded by Your closest disciples.

That being said, I do like feeling more self-assured, more comfortable in my own skin. I guess it's taken 37 years to get to this place. I would enjoy a brotherhood where honesty and authenticity are welcomed and even encouraged. One or more brothers who will speak to me as a peer or even a mentor. I am grateful for the friends I have, but I look forward to those who will spur or even travel with me to the new places where You are leading me.

Meanwhile, Jesus You are truly "a friend who is closer than a brother". Thank You, and praises to You! Lead on, my friend.

The Beauty of Instruction

Twice this week, I have benefited from instruction. Two of my favorite hobbies/passions are volleyball and acting, and I spend a considerable amount of time doing both. I am currently playing in two volleyball leagues and usually play at open gyms an additional once or twice a week. Although I have been playing for some time now and have a good set of skills, I've been inconsistent in my spiking.

Last week, I was asked to sub for a volleyball team, and while I played decently, my spikes were definitely "off"- the majority of them landing out-of-bounds, which obviously didn't help the team's efforts to win. When I played at an open gym the next night, I was having the same problem and started to get frustrated. "What am I doing wrong?" I muttered after another spiking error. A guy named Mike heard me, and after the next play, suggested that I try to "reach" for the ball instead of waiting for it to drop to the place where I'd normally contact it. I tried it and resulted in hitting the ball into the net. Mike encouraged me by saying it was still a better swing than what I had been doing. After a few more times, I started to get the timing and wrist snap needed and my spiking consistency improved. I thanked Mike for the tip and looked forward to the next league game to test out my improved skill.

Similarly, in my acting ventures, I was invited yesterday to an on-camera workshop by an acting coach who enjoyed my work in a previous acting project. I, along with a few other actors, met at the coach's home and had a great time learning tools and techniques from her that would improve our acting skills. I was so thankful for the instruction and am excited about using my newfound knowledge in my future acting gigs!

In both situations, I was given instruction by people more knowledgeable and experienced than I was. I was able to (happily) receive their advice because I wanted to learn. I wanted to improve. Both instructors gave freely out of their kindness, and I accepted and will benefit from their wisdom. I suppose it would have been just as easy to not accept their advice out of pride, but I have learned that humility is the way to go in life. Christ taught this and exhibited it Himself.

In one of his letters, the Apostle Paul wrote:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father". (Philippians 2:5-11).

Although volleyball and acting are two of my great passions, the one that supercedes them both is my relationship with God. I've been devoting more time in reading his Word lately, and that is the HIGHEST instruction of all. It is a blessing and joy to be able to participate in my hobbies, but it is a result/overflow of God delighting in providing these things for me. He loves me infinitely beyond what I know or deserve. I want to love Him back as my priority in life, and to receive His instruction so I can live a life that honors and pleases Him.

"Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD". (Proverbs 16:20)

In Wonder of Life

An interesting realization struck me the other day, and quite out-of-the-blue. It dawned on me what an amazing gift that life is. Compared to inert, inanimate objects, like rocks for instance, it is a wonder that we are living, breathing beings. We are the "crown of God's creation" and yet looking at the beauty, vibrancy and variety of life around, especially now that spring is here, nature is completely awe-inspiring. Yesterday, I started to sing in the car some songs I wrote a couple of years ago, and the lyrics of one are:

"All creation sings a melody that rings and calls my heart to sing along, and calls my heart to sing 'You are Amazing! You're beautiful. And my soul responds in awe of You my King. You are amazing, and God I tremble, that for me You'd give Your all, Your everything'"

It's been a while, a LONG while, since I've been reminded to appreciate the gift of life. It's so easy to take for granted that I'd wake up and be safe in my comings and goings that it barely registers that each moment is precious and all the people around me are deep, amazing and beautiful people who are precious in God's sight. I'm thankful for this eye-opener, as it helps me to be kind and connecting to those I may interact with, whether it's my housemates, co-workers, the young men preparing my Subway sandwich today, the water-delivery guy who I decided to finally greet by name today, etc.

I was reading last night an interesting article on the internet, which is posted on this link: http://www.slate.com/id/2187561?nav=wp asking if stuffed animals have souls and discussing a new Tamagotchi-type novelty called "Webkinz", which coerces kids to successfully complete challenges online in order to gain points to build their pet a home, buy food, etc. Technologically, it might be fun or clever, but it can never replace a living, breathing four-footed furry friend. A lot of joy in my life has come from taking care of various pets I've had, particularly cat..after cat...after cat.

To ascribe deep kinship or even worship of something inanimate (or living) may sound extreme, but it happens all the time (e.g. cars, homes, money, etc). This can turn into idolatry before we know it.

In Romans 1:25, the Apostle Paul describes a degenerate progression of thought and action, where "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." I know I have a tendency to desire or pursue some things so strongly that I venture into idolatry if I'm not careful. What helps me is to be thankful for what I have and been blessed with and take time to reflect on why I want [fill in the blank] so much. More often than not, it's a heart issue which gets re-aligned when I put my focus back on God and find my joy and satisfaction in Him.

"Lord God, I praise You for Your amazing creativity and beauty as expressed through Your creation. Thank you for the reminder of how precious and wonderful that life is. Help me to not take this gift for granted, and to honor it in the way that I relate and connect with others. I pray that You would be the sole recipient of my worship. Open my eyes to be aware of the idols in my life and help me to lay them down before You so that You can do Your work in my life unhindered. In Jesus' Name. Amen".