"S@#*%!"...oops, sorry God!

6:45 AM. My clock radio buzzes on and Jackie & Bender rudely awaken me from my slumber. Mmm, it was a good sleep too. I slap the snooze button a couple of times and finally succumb to waking up when Max, my muppet of a cat stands over my pillow waiting for some affection and fresh food.

Normally, I don't attempt to wake up quite so early, but this morning I was FINALLY going to drop of my car at the collision shop. A young man in a Jeep Grand Cherokee ran into my poor Geo almost three weeks ago while I was yielding to oncoming traffic. Seems he didn't notice me when he got distracted by his cell phone. What ensued was a lot of annoyance for me in dealing with insurance to figure out if my car was repairable or considered a complete loss.

I told God my preference was to keep the car, as it's been so reliable for me the past 11 years and I believe it's got several more good years left. Also, I had just spent $1200 on it in November for maintenance work. But, knowing that God knows what is best, I told Him that I'd be willing to give it up if He has something better for me, although I didn't look forward to the prospect of spending time looking for a new vehicle and the general hassle of the car buying experience, let alone possibly accruing more debt to pay off. So on the one hand, it was good news that the insurance adjuster deemed my car salvageable and asked the collision repair shop to fix it despite their misgivings.

This saga has been prolonged for a while and I was happy to finally drop my Geo off this morning before heading to work, hence waking up early. The repair shop is only a five minute drive from my place, but halfway there, a bunch of police officers were directing traffic to go elsewhere! Seems that a power line had fallen and blocked off the road. "Are you kidding me??" I growled under my breath. "Why are the simplest things so HARD!". Actually, the first thing that slipped out of my mouth was a choice cuss word, quickly followed by "Oops, sorry God!"

I've never really been one to curse except through occasional moments in grade school to try to fit in with "cool" people. My ex cursed a lot, mostly to be funny but also when she was angry. My co-workers, and also friends and acquaintances I have met through my acting projects often curse. I find myself uttering a cuss word more often than I ever used to, partially because of these influences, I'm sure, but also because I've allowed myself to not be so uptight about it. And yet, I quickly apologized to God this morning. He forgives, and I'm sure He even understands, but perhaps it's a good reminder for me to guard my tongue so that cursing does not become a habit.

James 3:10-12 says,

"Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water".

Through Jesus' sacrifice, I have been made clean. It doesn't make much sense to muddy myself up through my choices or my speech, and yet that is so easy to do.

"Lord, I'm sorry for the moments when my speech is not pleasing to You. Help me to be more conscientious of this, particularly when I am around others. May the words that flow from my mouth be consistent with that of a man who praises You. Thank you, Jesus. Amen".

Despite having to back-track and then take the freeway to the next exit and navigate back down to the repair shop via side streets (narrowly missing another accident!), I'm happy to report that things went smoothly. A very bubbly young woman named Katie drove me from the shop to Enterprise in Totem Lake where I was given a red Toyota Corolla to cart around in. Although the design doesn't offer great line of vision, it definitely has more power than my Geo! I'll be zooming around in it for the next ten days while my car is getting fixed. God, please keep me safe on the roads.