What do you do when you're in a spiritual "funk"? A season where you find yourself floating through daily existence, aware of God's presence but not embracing it? Days turn to weeks and then months, and after a while, you start to grow accustomed to purposely ignoring the things of the Spirit, or at best, keeping a "safe" distance.
In a sense, that's where I've been lately. I feel like a spiritual upheaval has taken place in my life the past couple of years. In the past year and a half, I needed to find healing and restoration and fellowship. I'm still working through it, but God has been gracious, especially with the first two areas. Still, I don't know yet where I land anymore spiritually. I still follow Christ and believe with solid faith that He is Lord and Savior, but how I navigate now in my spiritual journey is still uncertain.
Introduced to Christ at a young age, I've had a close and enjoyable relationship with Him. I attended and served faithfully in a variety of ways at my church. At 13, I was baptized by water and started to think about being a youth pastor when I got older. Life took a twist when I moved with my family down to Alhambra, CA right before my senior year in high-school, and while that year was challenging due to the adjustment to change, it served it's purpose in giving me California residency which qualified me for Cal Grants which largely financed my education at Azusa Pacific University. My four years at APU are still among the best years I've experienced in life, as I grew academically, socially and spiritually. During that time, I wrestled with choosing to major in Youth Ministry or Communication, and after seeking God in prayer, didn't feel "the call" and chose the latter, with a minor in Christian Education.
Returning to Seattle after graduation, I adjusted to life outside of college, working in various city youth programs as a team leader as well as other jobs. Even though I wasn't a youth pastor, I still found myself encouraging and ministering to young people in a variety of ways. Years later, I got married to a special woman, and in ten years of relationship, with 7 of those in marriage, we went through a colorful and cataclysmic time in our lives. Unfortunately, while it was beautiful and genuine love was involved, we endured many years of financial, emotional, physical and spiritual challenges and decided mutually to part ways after trying desperately to make things work.
Despite the amicable split, I did not walk away unscathed. Suddenly, I had to adjust to being single again and seek the healing I needed while trying to process the profound disappointment, hurt and anger of a failed marriage. Did God fail me? It wasn't as if I didn't try with great effort to walk in faith with Him and be obedient. I felt cheated. Short-changed. I felt like several years of love, effort, sacrifice and emotional energy was wasted because in the end, I was older, alone and wounded. So much invested in others, and yet what did I have for myself? I felt like I was cast aside and on the outskirts of God's love.
A year and a half later, I have some hindsight and can be thankful for God's graciousness in staying by my side and guiding me gently through the healing and restoration process. I don't really know how to navigate life as a divorced Christ-follower. It's as if the former paradigm of familiar church ministry is no longer a fit for me. While OCC, the church I've been attending, has never treated me as a cast-off or outsider, neither has it truly pulled me in and held me close. I understand my responsibility to try to facilitate this, to try to get involved, because it's difficult for a church that size to be familiar with everyone who attends. So far, I haven't found my niche, and perhaps I won't, but if attending OCC is for a season, then I am still thankful for the many ways I have been encouraged and blessed through the sermons and occasional fellowship.
All this to say that I am still in a spiritual funk, but feel more ready, more open to listening to the Spirit again. I've walked too long with the Lord to be satisfied with a numbed existence where I determine everything. Life is much too short, and though I sometimes stifle the lament of growing older, I know that God willing, the best years of life are actually ahead of me rather than frozen in my college years. More time to experience and enjoy this gift of life and to learn better how to love God and others genuinely and deeply.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Living On the Mend
Okay, so I haven't been blogging as regularly as I intended. It's not that I haven't been spiritually "plugged in". On the contrary, I've settled into the enjoyable and productive habit of reading a Psalm or two in the morning and reading a chapter or two of another book (currently 2nd Samuel) in the evening before retiring. I'm not spending much time meditating or really digging into what I read, but my morning moments in particular have been a great time to be still before God and connect with Him.
Sometimes I think there is a tendency to berate ourselves when it comes to our spiritual life. We always think we could be praying MORE, reading the Bible MORE, serving MORE, worshiping MORE- and while that is certainly true, it shouldn't mean that we de-value the time that we do invest in praying, reading, serving and worshiping. God values our efforts because He values us, more than we can possibly know or understand right now. As I connect with Him, even if it's in "minor" ways, I am blessed and experience a bit more the fullness of joy that comes from being in relationship with my loving, awesome God.
I don't have to chart my spirituality on a graph or pie chart or base it on any worldly standard or some type of holiness quotient. When I have some quality time with my Lord, when I go out of my way to love or encourage somebody, when I put forth excellence in the things I do, I am living out my faith. It's not about rules, it's about engaging LIFE- taking what comes my way and the people that cross my path and leaving them better than how they came because I allow God to love them through me.
After going through my own share of difficult seasons in life, I'm thankful that God has been graciously and effectively healing me emotionally and spiritually this past year. Because of my confusion, hurt and woundedness, I was not in a good place to care for or bless others. God needed to restore, rebuild and re-establish me, and while that process still continues, I'm grateful that I have health and strength and the desire to start loving people again.
"Thank You, Father, for Your hand of mercy and how gently You have held me and cared for me my whole life and particularly this past year. For a while it seemed like joy would not return, but despite loss and my own personal brokenness and disappointment, You fill me gradually, refreshing and replenishing my soul with what it needs most. Help me to put aside fear of hearing from You, and to be courageous in loving others with the heart of Jesus Christ. In His Name and for His glory, Amen".
Sometimes I think there is a tendency to berate ourselves when it comes to our spiritual life. We always think we could be praying MORE, reading the Bible MORE, serving MORE, worshiping MORE- and while that is certainly true, it shouldn't mean that we de-value the time that we do invest in praying, reading, serving and worshiping. God values our efforts because He values us, more than we can possibly know or understand right now. As I connect with Him, even if it's in "minor" ways, I am blessed and experience a bit more the fullness of joy that comes from being in relationship with my loving, awesome God.
I don't have to chart my spirituality on a graph or pie chart or base it on any worldly standard or some type of holiness quotient. When I have some quality time with my Lord, when I go out of my way to love or encourage somebody, when I put forth excellence in the things I do, I am living out my faith. It's not about rules, it's about engaging LIFE- taking what comes my way and the people that cross my path and leaving them better than how they came because I allow God to love them through me.
After going through my own share of difficult seasons in life, I'm thankful that God has been graciously and effectively healing me emotionally and spiritually this past year. Because of my confusion, hurt and woundedness, I was not in a good place to care for or bless others. God needed to restore, rebuild and re-establish me, and while that process still continues, I'm grateful that I have health and strength and the desire to start loving people again.
"Thank You, Father, for Your hand of mercy and how gently You have held me and cared for me my whole life and particularly this past year. For a while it seemed like joy would not return, but despite loss and my own personal brokenness and disappointment, You fill me gradually, refreshing and replenishing my soul with what it needs most. Help me to put aside fear of hearing from You, and to be courageous in loving others with the heart of Jesus Christ. In His Name and for His glory, Amen".
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
A Good Day
Today was a good day. Actually, a very good day. The weather has been, and continues to be absolutely gorgeous. I was able to get a lot of key things done at work, which is good because I just found out I need to take the day off tomorrow for a film shoot. I was able to spend time over lunch with Pastor Mike at Typhoon in Redmond. Good food, good company, good fellowship. After work, I met up with some actors at a director's home to rehearse what looks to be a fun project, and driving home I saw a spectacular sunset. As my friend, Uncle Bruce would say, "I have much to be thankful for". There is good in every day, for God's mercies are new every morning. Then there are days when I see/recognize/experience an ABUNDANCE of good. God is full of blessings. God is good.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him".
-Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him".
-Psalm 34:8
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Inclusion
I've been lamenting for months over what I perceive as a general lack of inclusion among people I become acquainted with. It's not that they're not friendly or pleasant, but there really doesn't seem to be much or any reciprical interest. Is it me? Am I unattractive, uninteresting, un- something? Or is it them? Too busy for a new friend, too insular, too intimidated, too something? Generally, I don't like to complain, and I hate to whine, but this is something that has bothered me for some time now. I tend to feel like it's often up to me to initiate conversation or make the other person feel comfortable, but rarely is that done to me.
Then this weekend something began to shift in my mindset. God's teaching me something. My friend Jonathan, who I recently acted with in the "Prince Caspian" production at Overlake, called me Friday night to see if I wanted to see the motion picture of the same name. During our conversation, he invited me to hang out at Greenlake with his friends the next day and then go to a BBQ at someone's house and then catch the movie. Eager to connect with people, I accepted his invitation and was happy for his inclusion of me.
When I arrived at the lake, I didn't see Jonathan and since he was my link to his friends, I had no idea who else to look for. I left a voicemail on his phone and walked around the grounds doing some people-watching and enjoying the warm day. I noticed two men and a woman playing some grass volleyball and watched them for a while. Since there were only three of them, one would take turns to run to the other side of the net to try to set up a semblance of a rally. After mustering up a bit of verve, I finally asked if they would mind if I joined in for a little while. One of the guys seemed a bit hesitant but relented.
We played 2 on 2 for a while until one of their friends showed up. Meanwhile, Jonathan had returned my call and said he was in another part of the park, but would walk over to where I was. When he showed up, the group was fine with him joining in as well, and we had fun playing several games 3 on 3 before the group retired for the day. Although I may not see any of them ever again, it was nice to develop some camaraderie through playing volleyball. I thanked them for letting us join in and they seemed genuinely glad that we did. It wouldn't have happened, though, if I didn't take the step to include myself.
Along those lines, Pastor Mike in tonight's sermon spoke on serving in the church. He recounted how when he was dating his now wife, that her family first treated him as an honored guest in their house, but over time, he was viewed as family. He said he knew the transition had happened once they treated him like their own and gave him a job like setting up the table for dinner. That analogy helped illustrate how the church is a family where everyone helps out, and while we may be guests for a while, the hope is that we all cross that line from honored guest to family member.
Mike's analogy also had the benefit of helping me think through my mindset of treating myself or others as "guests". While it is always good to honor others, how much better would it be if others felt like I connect and love them as if they are my own family? It's something I need to give more thought to, but it's a worthwhile challenge for me to adjust how I relate and connect with others. Like my volleyball example above, I included myself as if I were family (or belonged), and while the risk is that it could be off-putting to others, I think that fear alone prevents me from having so many meaningful social connections with others because it's easier to "wait" to be invited or included and easier to lament about it when it never happens!
"Father God, thank You for teaching me new things and challenging me on how I do old things. Jesus, thank You for Your example of being all-inclusive and all-loving. Thank You for Your grace and patience with me as I sort through my understanding about how to relate and connect with others. Give me courage, confidence, wisdom and love as I move forward into new service and new relationships, and may they honor and glorify You. Amen".
Then this weekend something began to shift in my mindset. God's teaching me something. My friend Jonathan, who I recently acted with in the "Prince Caspian" production at Overlake, called me Friday night to see if I wanted to see the motion picture of the same name. During our conversation, he invited me to hang out at Greenlake with his friends the next day and then go to a BBQ at someone's house and then catch the movie. Eager to connect with people, I accepted his invitation and was happy for his inclusion of me.
When I arrived at the lake, I didn't see Jonathan and since he was my link to his friends, I had no idea who else to look for. I left a voicemail on his phone and walked around the grounds doing some people-watching and enjoying the warm day. I noticed two men and a woman playing some grass volleyball and watched them for a while. Since there were only three of them, one would take turns to run to the other side of the net to try to set up a semblance of a rally. After mustering up a bit of verve, I finally asked if they would mind if I joined in for a little while. One of the guys seemed a bit hesitant but relented.
We played 2 on 2 for a while until one of their friends showed up. Meanwhile, Jonathan had returned my call and said he was in another part of the park, but would walk over to where I was. When he showed up, the group was fine with him joining in as well, and we had fun playing several games 3 on 3 before the group retired for the day. Although I may not see any of them ever again, it was nice to develop some camaraderie through playing volleyball. I thanked them for letting us join in and they seemed genuinely glad that we did. It wouldn't have happened, though, if I didn't take the step to include myself.
Along those lines, Pastor Mike in tonight's sermon spoke on serving in the church. He recounted how when he was dating his now wife, that her family first treated him as an honored guest in their house, but over time, he was viewed as family. He said he knew the transition had happened once they treated him like their own and gave him a job like setting up the table for dinner. That analogy helped illustrate how the church is a family where everyone helps out, and while we may be guests for a while, the hope is that we all cross that line from honored guest to family member.
Mike's analogy also had the benefit of helping me think through my mindset of treating myself or others as "guests". While it is always good to honor others, how much better would it be if others felt like I connect and love them as if they are my own family? It's something I need to give more thought to, but it's a worthwhile challenge for me to adjust how I relate and connect with others. Like my volleyball example above, I included myself as if I were family (or belonged), and while the risk is that it could be off-putting to others, I think that fear alone prevents me from having so many meaningful social connections with others because it's easier to "wait" to be invited or included and easier to lament about it when it never happens!
"Father God, thank You for teaching me new things and challenging me on how I do old things. Jesus, thank You for Your example of being all-inclusive and all-loving. Thank You for Your grace and patience with me as I sort through my understanding about how to relate and connect with others. Give me courage, confidence, wisdom and love as I move forward into new service and new relationships, and may they honor and glorify You. Amen".
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Bankrupt
"The disease of self runs through my blood, it's a cancer fatal to my soul. Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control. Oh tell me what's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior. This only serves to confirm my suspicion that I'm still a man in need of a Savior".
Some of the lyrics from the song, "In the Light". DC Talk's version of it woke me up this morning on my radio alarm clock. It was a timely and poignant reminder, for I do have times when I despise my behavior and realize that there are things in me that are weak or dark or dirty. I've always been and still am a man who needs a Savior. Thank God I have one in Jesus Christ. I don't know where I'd be without Him, if He hadn't graciously stepped into my life at an early age.
Part of the challenge in being in a long relationship is not being lax with the familiarity. As someone who follows Jesus and experiences His friendship, I've often fallen into the trap of losing sight of how spiritually bankrupt I would be without His presence in my life. I'm thankful for the reminder tonight as I went to the 7 p.m. Illuminate service at Overlake Christian Church.
I love Pastor Mike. He's passionate about Jesus and such a gifted communicator, and God has used him to bless me so much since I've attended Overlake last fall. In his sermon tonight, Mike preached on Luke 11:1-11, where Jesus taught His disciples how to pray. While prayer can be intimate conversation with God, I was reminded that another approach in prayer is great humility with shameless persistence. To "ask, seek and knock" with urgency and desperation, knowing that I am bankrupt without God's provision- be it spiritual, moral, physical, emotional, etc. As Pastor Mike expounded on that section of the Word, I felt the Holy Spirit drop that truth into my soul. It's what I needed to hear, and I am strengthened and encouraged by it.
"Lord, You are the Holy One and my Great Provider. I ask Your forgiveness for my recent stumblings, for not drawing close to Your Spirit and instead choosing my own way. I am bankrupt without You. I ask that You lead and open up opportunities for me to connect with men and women who love You and seek hard after You, that I would not be alone on this often lonely journey. Thank You for Your grace and Your gentle and strong love. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, for I am a man in need of a Savior. In His Name I pray, Amen".
Some of the lyrics from the song, "In the Light". DC Talk's version of it woke me up this morning on my radio alarm clock. It was a timely and poignant reminder, for I do have times when I despise my behavior and realize that there are things in me that are weak or dark or dirty. I've always been and still am a man who needs a Savior. Thank God I have one in Jesus Christ. I don't know where I'd be without Him, if He hadn't graciously stepped into my life at an early age.
Part of the challenge in being in a long relationship is not being lax with the familiarity. As someone who follows Jesus and experiences His friendship, I've often fallen into the trap of losing sight of how spiritually bankrupt I would be without His presence in my life. I'm thankful for the reminder tonight as I went to the 7 p.m. Illuminate service at Overlake Christian Church.
I love Pastor Mike. He's passionate about Jesus and such a gifted communicator, and God has used him to bless me so much since I've attended Overlake last fall. In his sermon tonight, Mike preached on Luke 11:1-11, where Jesus taught His disciples how to pray. While prayer can be intimate conversation with God, I was reminded that another approach in prayer is great humility with shameless persistence. To "ask, seek and knock" with urgency and desperation, knowing that I am bankrupt without God's provision- be it spiritual, moral, physical, emotional, etc. As Pastor Mike expounded on that section of the Word, I felt the Holy Spirit drop that truth into my soul. It's what I needed to hear, and I am strengthened and encouraged by it.
"Lord, You are the Holy One and my Great Provider. I ask Your forgiveness for my recent stumblings, for not drawing close to Your Spirit and instead choosing my own way. I am bankrupt without You. I ask that You lead and open up opportunities for me to connect with men and women who love You and seek hard after You, that I would not be alone on this often lonely journey. Thank You for Your grace and Your gentle and strong love. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, for I am a man in need of a Savior. In His Name I pray, Amen".
Sunday, April 20, 2008
We are the Champions
That song keeps buzzing through my mind because the volleyball team I'm on for the Michael Chang Christian Sports League took home the championship trophy earlier today! I've played every year for the past five years, and though the members of the team have changed here and there, we all seem to feel a collective camaraderie for the teams submitted through Chinese Baptist Church, which my team was.
Two years ago, we were undefeated and earned a bye in the playoffs, only to lose in the second round of playoffs. Last year, we had another strong season and went all the way to the championships but fizzled out due to nerves, tentative playing, and blowing a huge lead that my superstar friend Nick had carved out for us. It was a very tough loss (we didn't even get to play a third set since we lost the first two), and many of us were bitterly disappointed.
This year, we were determined to be different. Our team was named "Catch the Spirit" and was made up mostly of the same people from last year. The competition level in our division seemed to dip a bit from years past, and that combined with us being a strong team resulted in us losing only once en route to the championships today. We were set to play against a young team called the "Peacemakers", who happened to be the only team that beat us. Prior to today, we actually had played them three times, winning 2-1, losing 0-3, and winning 2-1.
Last night, I got to thinking about being in competitive mode. I'm a rather focused and competitive person but have tried to ease up the past few years. I try to get back to enjoying the sport regardless of the score or how the team is playing and trying to keep the team spirit up. Since this is a Christian Sports League, the main focus is on relationships rather than winning, and honestly, I feel guilty sometimes when my team is dominating others. I get tempted to scale back and not play as hard, but that often backfires because the opposing team IS playing hard and wants to win too. Last night, I resolved to go into the championships with "no mercy".
It paid off. And I'm glad to say that on my way to the game this afternoon, I was in a relaxed, peaceful mode as my soul conversed with God. In the secret place, in the things unspoken, I found the balance where I didn't need to come into the gym revved up. I didn't need to train my mind to have a winning mentality or to visualize our opponents as someone to vanquish. I simply played with freedom- focused but loose, and allowing my body and my skills to fall naturally in line with what was happening. Sure, there were a few moments of concern when the game score was close, but I was able to play some of my best volleyball of the season today, and it was the perfect time to have my game on. Our team won the first two games, so there was no need to play a third.
I am very proud of my teammates and what we were able to accomplish after so many years of trying. While the trophy was nice, it didn't bring about a tremendously deep sense of elation, which surprised me a little bit. I'm glad though, for it shows that it really wasn't about the trophy. I guess the feeling I have is...satisfaction. I'm very happy for the team and that the trophy will be kept at CBC, but for myself, I'm just glad to have played well and with that freedom I mentioned.
I'd like to live life like that. To look back at the end of my days and feel like I lived in Christ's freedom and to feel a sense of satisfaction that I lived well, with focus and purpose and didn't lose sight of what was most important. I'm still in discovery of what that freedom means, but I'm happy to have experienced some of it in my life, and I look forward to more.
"Dear God, thank you for today. I pray that You were honored in my worship and conduct. Thank you for the freedom to play and to live. Show me more with each day what living in Christ's freedom means and use it to bless others for Your Kingdom. Thank you for the breathtaking beauty You place all around me. In Jesus' Name, Amen".
Monday, April 14, 2008
Diamonds in the Rough
Yesterday, I had the privilege of being a Diamond guest at a Mariner's game. My friend, CP, received four passes as a gift and invited me to attend along with two of her other friends. I'd never heard of the Diamond treatment, but I was prepped a bit by CP, as well as my cousin who had been a guest a few months ago. It was quite an experience!
I picked up CP and we drove to Safeco Field with the intent of meeting Will and Stephanie there. CP said the parking was also paid for, which is a blessing if you are in any way familiar with prices around the ball park. We drove up to the gate and several attendants eyed us suspiciously, perhaps because we were there early (10 AM, when the game was scheduled at 1 PM). An older female attendant approached me and I handed her the Diamond parking pass and asked if I was in the correct lot. Immediately, upon seeing the pass, her demeanor changed and she became very friendly and pleasant, telling me how to get to the upper level reserved for us and said, "You may park ANYWHERE you want!". CP and I got a chuckle out of that as we drove up to park. Upon exiting my car, another attendant approached us, also looking a bit skeptical, perhaps because we were the ONLY car parked and/or because we didn't really look the part of a Diamond guest. CP immediately informed him of our elite passes and he also perked up and became very gregarious. He explained how to get to the special entrances for Diamond guests, but added that "You may enter ANY gate you want!". Hahaha! Funny how a glossy piece of paper immediately commanded respect!
CP and I met up with Will and Steph and we had drinks at a restaurant while waiting for the gates to open. We made our way over to the "special" entrance and were ushered into a nice dining area reserved for Diamond guests. A beautiful brunch buffet was set up with various salads and salmon, fruit, pasta, an omelette station, carved ham and desserts galore. We were promptly seated and assigned a server who explained that all the food was 4-star quality and that all food and drink was complimentary. I stuck with the lighter fare, but really enjoyed everything I tasted. When we ventured outside, our seats were four aisles up from home plate. Amazing. Even better, we had menus at our seats and anytime we wanted anything, we'd check off our selections, hand them to an attendant, and they would bring the food back to our seat! What service! I enjoyed some fish and chips, teriyaki beef, fruit, and a Mac & Jack's. The weather was a bit chilly, so the four of us would occasionally venture back inside to warm up on plush leather furniture and watch the game on the dozen plasma televisions around the place.
It really was special treatment, and I couldn't help but notice what a marked difference it made that we were "Diamond" guests rather than regular Mariner's fans. Wealth, power, status- how easily they can influence how others view and treat us. Beauty as well. While I believe that all people, being made in God's image, deserve respect, I admit it is rather difficult to be impartial. I only notice this when confronted with someone who is very different from what I usually encounter. Someone who perhaps isn't clean, or is homeless or destitute, or addicted to alcohol or drugs, or is simply socially awkward. It's easy to admire and gravitate toward the beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny people. I need to be mindful of not favoring them over others who perhaps aren't as attractive in my eyes.
I think of the passage from James 2:
My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
We are all imperfect and seriously flawed, which is why we need a perfect Savior. Even as followers of Christ, we are works-in-process, "diamonds in the rough". Yet, in God's eyes, we are all beautiful and precious, and He deeply desires us to know in our heart, mind and soul how much He loves us and wants us to be in fellowship with Him.
"Lord, thank you for Your infinitely deep and abiding love. Help me to see others as You do. Reveal to me the moments when I show favoritism and help me to love others, regardless of who they are, in a manner that reflects Christ and honors Him. Amen".
I picked up CP and we drove to Safeco Field with the intent of meeting Will and Stephanie there. CP said the parking was also paid for, which is a blessing if you are in any way familiar with prices around the ball park. We drove up to the gate and several attendants eyed us suspiciously, perhaps because we were there early (10 AM, when the game was scheduled at 1 PM). An older female attendant approached me and I handed her the Diamond parking pass and asked if I was in the correct lot. Immediately, upon seeing the pass, her demeanor changed and she became very friendly and pleasant, telling me how to get to the upper level reserved for us and said, "You may park ANYWHERE you want!". CP and I got a chuckle out of that as we drove up to park. Upon exiting my car, another attendant approached us, also looking a bit skeptical, perhaps because we were the ONLY car parked and/or because we didn't really look the part of a Diamond guest. CP immediately informed him of our elite passes and he also perked up and became very gregarious. He explained how to get to the special entrances for Diamond guests, but added that "You may enter ANY gate you want!". Hahaha! Funny how a glossy piece of paper immediately commanded respect!
CP and I met up with Will and Steph and we had drinks at a restaurant while waiting for the gates to open. We made our way over to the "special" entrance and were ushered into a nice dining area reserved for Diamond guests. A beautiful brunch buffet was set up with various salads and salmon, fruit, pasta, an omelette station, carved ham and desserts galore. We were promptly seated and assigned a server who explained that all the food was 4-star quality and that all food and drink was complimentary. I stuck with the lighter fare, but really enjoyed everything I tasted. When we ventured outside, our seats were four aisles up from home plate. Amazing. Even better, we had menus at our seats and anytime we wanted anything, we'd check off our selections, hand them to an attendant, and they would bring the food back to our seat! What service! I enjoyed some fish and chips, teriyaki beef, fruit, and a Mac & Jack's. The weather was a bit chilly, so the four of us would occasionally venture back inside to warm up on plush leather furniture and watch the game on the dozen plasma televisions around the place.
It really was special treatment, and I couldn't help but notice what a marked difference it made that we were "Diamond" guests rather than regular Mariner's fans. Wealth, power, status- how easily they can influence how others view and treat us. Beauty as well. While I believe that all people, being made in God's image, deserve respect, I admit it is rather difficult to be impartial. I only notice this when confronted with someone who is very different from what I usually encounter. Someone who perhaps isn't clean, or is homeless or destitute, or addicted to alcohol or drugs, or is simply socially awkward. It's easy to admire and gravitate toward the beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny people. I need to be mindful of not favoring them over others who perhaps aren't as attractive in my eyes.
I think of the passage from James 2:
My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
We are all imperfect and seriously flawed, which is why we need a perfect Savior. Even as followers of Christ, we are works-in-process, "diamonds in the rough". Yet, in God's eyes, we are all beautiful and precious, and He deeply desires us to know in our heart, mind and soul how much He loves us and wants us to be in fellowship with Him.
"Lord, thank you for Your infinitely deep and abiding love. Help me to see others as You do. Reveal to me the moments when I show favoritism and help me to love others, regardless of who they are, in a manner that reflects Christ and honors Him. Amen".
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Exploration
It is a lazy but glorious Saturday. The morning clouds have given way to brilliant sunshine and light blue skies tinted with the slightest hint of gray. It is supposed to be the warmest day of the year so far, and yet I find myself content in the refuge of my bedroom- eating, staring out the window, reading a book, drowsily snuggling with my cat, reflecting.
I'm more of a homebody than an outdoor enthusiast, but I do enjoy savoring Creation. I should do it more often- spend time exploring, hiking, etc. There is a stillness of soul that I carry with me wherever I am, but I should make a point of re-awakening my senses to the other ways that God would speak to me.
Be that as it may, the agenda for today is quite light and primarily happens indoor. I plan to wash up, change out of my pj's and stop by my old church's gym for a while to encourage one of the volleyball teams that are getting ready for playoffs tomorrow. Afterward, I'll visit my family for a while, and the rest I will play by ear or as the Lord leads.
I sense that there is great opportunity for me to find balance in connecting with others while also feeding my soul in my private moments with God. They are both purposeful and not mutually exclusive, but I would be wise in identifying that one or the other may be at play in any given moment. This would probably help me during times when I feel lonely or bored.
"Lord, may I explore the day and find the moments of connection and beauty and inspiration. May I be sensitive to the words and places you would have me visit, for the benefit of others, myself, and for Your glory. Amen".
I'm more of a homebody than an outdoor enthusiast, but I do enjoy savoring Creation. I should do it more often- spend time exploring, hiking, etc. There is a stillness of soul that I carry with me wherever I am, but I should make a point of re-awakening my senses to the other ways that God would speak to me.
Be that as it may, the agenda for today is quite light and primarily happens indoor. I plan to wash up, change out of my pj's and stop by my old church's gym for a while to encourage one of the volleyball teams that are getting ready for playoffs tomorrow. Afterward, I'll visit my family for a while, and the rest I will play by ear or as the Lord leads.
I sense that there is great opportunity for me to find balance in connecting with others while also feeding my soul in my private moments with God. They are both purposeful and not mutually exclusive, but I would be wise in identifying that one or the other may be at play in any given moment. This would probably help me during times when I feel lonely or bored.
"Lord, may I explore the day and find the moments of connection and beauty and inspiration. May I be sensitive to the words and places you would have me visit, for the benefit of others, myself, and for Your glory. Amen".
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tired and Uninspired
That's about how I'm feeling right now, Lord. I've been "going at it" for a while and I'm thankful for the opportunities to do things I enjoy. It's nice to have a full calendar. You know I don't do so well when I've got too much spare time on my hands. Thank you for nice housemates, my cat Max, a decent job with great bosses and co-workers, good health, my family, a good church. Thanks for a couple of new friendships that have been made. You know I look forward to deeper fellowship and I pray that it would come in Your timing.
Psalm 37:3-5
Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
I remember laying in bed last week and appreciating how You have been gracious in providing some of my heart's desires and I do trust You Lord. Forgive me when my impatience or loneliness compels me to hope for things to come faster. For so long You have been my sole refuge and deep Companion, as should be so. Thank you for not abandoning me even when I felt like I was abandoned. Perhaps a sense of loneliness in the spiritual pilgrimage is normal. Jesus, You must have felt lonely at times, growing up and even when surrounded by Your closest disciples.
That being said, I do like feeling more self-assured, more comfortable in my own skin. I guess it's taken 37 years to get to this place. I would enjoy a brotherhood where honesty and authenticity are welcomed and even encouraged. One or more brothers who will speak to me as a peer or even a mentor. I am grateful for the friends I have, but I look forward to those who will spur or even travel with me to the new places where You are leading me.
Meanwhile, Jesus You are truly "a friend who is closer than a brother". Thank You, and praises to You! Lead on, my friend.
Psalm 37:3-5
Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
I remember laying in bed last week and appreciating how You have been gracious in providing some of my heart's desires and I do trust You Lord. Forgive me when my impatience or loneliness compels me to hope for things to come faster. For so long You have been my sole refuge and deep Companion, as should be so. Thank you for not abandoning me even when I felt like I was abandoned. Perhaps a sense of loneliness in the spiritual pilgrimage is normal. Jesus, You must have felt lonely at times, growing up and even when surrounded by Your closest disciples.
That being said, I do like feeling more self-assured, more comfortable in my own skin. I guess it's taken 37 years to get to this place. I would enjoy a brotherhood where honesty and authenticity are welcomed and even encouraged. One or more brothers who will speak to me as a peer or even a mentor. I am grateful for the friends I have, but I look forward to those who will spur or even travel with me to the new places where You are leading me.
Meanwhile, Jesus You are truly "a friend who is closer than a brother". Thank You, and praises to You! Lead on, my friend.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The Beauty of Instruction
Twice this week, I have benefited from instruction. Two of my favorite hobbies/passions are volleyball and acting, and I spend a considerable amount of time doing both. I am currently playing in two volleyball leagues and usually play at open gyms an additional once or twice a week. Although I have been playing for some time now and have a good set of skills, I've been inconsistent in my spiking.
Last week, I was asked to sub for a volleyball team, and while I played decently, my spikes were definitely "off"- the majority of them landing out-of-bounds, which obviously didn't help the team's efforts to win. When I played at an open gym the next night, I was having the same problem and started to get frustrated. "What am I doing wrong?" I muttered after another spiking error. A guy named Mike heard me, and after the next play, suggested that I try to "reach" for the ball instead of waiting for it to drop to the place where I'd normally contact it. I tried it and resulted in hitting the ball into the net. Mike encouraged me by saying it was still a better swing than what I had been doing. After a few more times, I started to get the timing and wrist snap needed and my spiking consistency improved. I thanked Mike for the tip and looked forward to the next league game to test out my improved skill.
Similarly, in my acting ventures, I was invited yesterday to an on-camera workshop by an acting coach who enjoyed my work in a previous acting project. I, along with a few other actors, met at the coach's home and had a great time learning tools and techniques from her that would improve our acting skills. I was so thankful for the instruction and am excited about using my newfound knowledge in my future acting gigs!
In both situations, I was given instruction by people more knowledgeable and experienced than I was. I was able to (happily) receive their advice because I wanted to learn. I wanted to improve. Both instructors gave freely out of their kindness, and I accepted and will benefit from their wisdom. I suppose it would have been just as easy to not accept their advice out of pride, but I have learned that humility is the way to go in life. Christ taught this and exhibited it Himself.
In one of his letters, the Apostle Paul wrote:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father". (Philippians 2:5-11).
Although volleyball and acting are two of my great passions, the one that supercedes them both is my relationship with God. I've been devoting more time in reading his Word lately, and that is the HIGHEST instruction of all. It is a blessing and joy to be able to participate in my hobbies, but it is a result/overflow of God delighting in providing these things for me. He loves me infinitely beyond what I know or deserve. I want to love Him back as my priority in life, and to receive His instruction so I can live a life that honors and pleases Him.
"Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD". (Proverbs 16:20)
Last week, I was asked to sub for a volleyball team, and while I played decently, my spikes were definitely "off"- the majority of them landing out-of-bounds, which obviously didn't help the team's efforts to win. When I played at an open gym the next night, I was having the same problem and started to get frustrated. "What am I doing wrong?" I muttered after another spiking error. A guy named Mike heard me, and after the next play, suggested that I try to "reach" for the ball instead of waiting for it to drop to the place where I'd normally contact it. I tried it and resulted in hitting the ball into the net. Mike encouraged me by saying it was still a better swing than what I had been doing. After a few more times, I started to get the timing and wrist snap needed and my spiking consistency improved. I thanked Mike for the tip and looked forward to the next league game to test out my improved skill.
Similarly, in my acting ventures, I was invited yesterday to an on-camera workshop by an acting coach who enjoyed my work in a previous acting project. I, along with a few other actors, met at the coach's home and had a great time learning tools and techniques from her that would improve our acting skills. I was so thankful for the instruction and am excited about using my newfound knowledge in my future acting gigs!
In both situations, I was given instruction by people more knowledgeable and experienced than I was. I was able to (happily) receive their advice because I wanted to learn. I wanted to improve. Both instructors gave freely out of their kindness, and I accepted and will benefit from their wisdom. I suppose it would have been just as easy to not accept their advice out of pride, but I have learned that humility is the way to go in life. Christ taught this and exhibited it Himself.
In one of his letters, the Apostle Paul wrote:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father". (Philippians 2:5-11).
Although volleyball and acting are two of my great passions, the one that supercedes them both is my relationship with God. I've been devoting more time in reading his Word lately, and that is the HIGHEST instruction of all. It is a blessing and joy to be able to participate in my hobbies, but it is a result/overflow of God delighting in providing these things for me. He loves me infinitely beyond what I know or deserve. I want to love Him back as my priority in life, and to receive His instruction so I can live a life that honors and pleases Him.
"Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD". (Proverbs 16:20)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
In Wonder of Life
An interesting realization struck me the other day, and quite out-of-the-blue. It dawned on me what an amazing gift that life is. Compared to inert, inanimate objects, like rocks for instance, it is a wonder that we are living, breathing beings. We are the "crown of God's creation" and yet looking at the beauty, vibrancy and variety of life around, especially now that spring is here, nature is completely awe-inspiring. Yesterday, I started to sing in the car some songs I wrote a couple of years ago, and the lyrics of one are:
"All creation sings a melody that rings and calls my heart to sing along, and calls my heart to sing 'You are Amazing! You're beautiful. And my soul responds in awe of You my King. You are amazing, and God I tremble, that for me You'd give Your all, Your everything'"
It's been a while, a LONG while, since I've been reminded to appreciate the gift of life. It's so easy to take for granted that I'd wake up and be safe in my comings and goings that it barely registers that each moment is precious and all the people around me are deep, amazing and beautiful people who are precious in God's sight. I'm thankful for this eye-opener, as it helps me to be kind and connecting to those I may interact with, whether it's my housemates, co-workers, the young men preparing my Subway sandwich today, the water-delivery guy who I decided to finally greet by name today, etc.
I was reading last night an interesting article on the internet, which is posted on this link: http://www.slate.com/id/2187561?nav=wp asking if stuffed animals have souls and discussing a new Tamagotchi-type novelty called "Webkinz", which coerces kids to successfully complete challenges online in order to gain points to build their pet a home, buy food, etc. Technologically, it might be fun or clever, but it can never replace a living, breathing four-footed furry friend. A lot of joy in my life has come from taking care of various pets I've had, particularly cat..after cat...after cat.
To ascribe deep kinship or even worship of something inanimate (or living) may sound extreme, but it happens all the time (e.g. cars, homes, money, etc). This can turn into idolatry before we know it.
In Romans 1:25, the Apostle Paul describes a degenerate progression of thought and action, where "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." I know I have a tendency to desire or pursue some things so strongly that I venture into idolatry if I'm not careful. What helps me is to be thankful for what I have and been blessed with and take time to reflect on why I want [fill in the blank] so much. More often than not, it's a heart issue which gets re-aligned when I put my focus back on God and find my joy and satisfaction in Him.
"Lord God, I praise You for Your amazing creativity and beauty as expressed through Your creation. Thank you for the reminder of how precious and wonderful that life is. Help me to not take this gift for granted, and to honor it in the way that I relate and connect with others. I pray that You would be the sole recipient of my worship. Open my eyes to be aware of the idols in my life and help me to lay them down before You so that You can do Your work in my life unhindered. In Jesus' Name. Amen".
"All creation sings a melody that rings and calls my heart to sing along, and calls my heart to sing 'You are Amazing! You're beautiful. And my soul responds in awe of You my King. You are amazing, and God I tremble, that for me You'd give Your all, Your everything'"
It's been a while, a LONG while, since I've been reminded to appreciate the gift of life. It's so easy to take for granted that I'd wake up and be safe in my comings and goings that it barely registers that each moment is precious and all the people around me are deep, amazing and beautiful people who are precious in God's sight. I'm thankful for this eye-opener, as it helps me to be kind and connecting to those I may interact with, whether it's my housemates, co-workers, the young men preparing my Subway sandwich today, the water-delivery guy who I decided to finally greet by name today, etc.
I was reading last night an interesting article on the internet, which is posted on this link: http://www.slate.com/id/2187561?nav=wp asking if stuffed animals have souls and discussing a new Tamagotchi-type novelty called "Webkinz", which coerces kids to successfully complete challenges online in order to gain points to build their pet a home, buy food, etc. Technologically, it might be fun or clever, but it can never replace a living, breathing four-footed furry friend. A lot of joy in my life has come from taking care of various pets I've had, particularly cat..after cat...after cat.
To ascribe deep kinship or even worship of something inanimate (or living) may sound extreme, but it happens all the time (e.g. cars, homes, money, etc). This can turn into idolatry before we know it.
In Romans 1:25, the Apostle Paul describes a degenerate progression of thought and action, where "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." I know I have a tendency to desire or pursue some things so strongly that I venture into idolatry if I'm not careful. What helps me is to be thankful for what I have and been blessed with and take time to reflect on why I want [fill in the blank] so much. More often than not, it's a heart issue which gets re-aligned when I put my focus back on God and find my joy and satisfaction in Him.
"Lord God, I praise You for Your amazing creativity and beauty as expressed through Your creation. Thank you for the reminder of how precious and wonderful that life is. Help me to not take this gift for granted, and to honor it in the way that I relate and connect with others. I pray that You would be the sole recipient of my worship. Open my eyes to be aware of the idols in my life and help me to lay them down before You so that You can do Your work in my life unhindered. In Jesus' Name. Amen".
Monday, March 31, 2008
"S@#*%!"...oops, sorry God!
6:45 AM. My clock radio buzzes on and Jackie & Bender rudely awaken me from my slumber. Mmm, it was a good sleep too. I slap the snooze button a couple of times and finally succumb to waking up when Max, my muppet of a cat stands over my pillow waiting for some affection and fresh food.
Normally, I don't attempt to wake up quite so early, but this morning I was FINALLY going to drop of my car at the collision shop. A young man in a Jeep Grand Cherokee ran into my poor Geo almost three weeks ago while I was yielding to oncoming traffic. Seems he didn't notice me when he got distracted by his cell phone. What ensued was a lot of annoyance for me in dealing with insurance to figure out if my car was repairable or considered a complete loss.
I told God my preference was to keep the car, as it's been so reliable for me the past 11 years and I believe it's got several more good years left. Also, I had just spent $1200 on it in November for maintenance work. But, knowing that God knows what is best, I told Him that I'd be willing to give it up if He has something better for me, although I didn't look forward to the prospect of spending time looking for a new vehicle and the general hassle of the car buying experience, let alone possibly accruing more debt to pay off. So on the one hand, it was good news that the insurance adjuster deemed my car salvageable and asked the collision repair shop to fix it despite their misgivings.
This saga has been prolonged for a while and I was happy to finally drop my Geo off this morning before heading to work, hence waking up early. The repair shop is only a five minute drive from my place, but halfway there, a bunch of police officers were directing traffic to go elsewhere! Seems that a power line had fallen and blocked off the road. "Are you kidding me??" I growled under my breath. "Why are the simplest things so HARD!". Actually, the first thing that slipped out of my mouth was a choice cuss word, quickly followed by "Oops, sorry God!"
I've never really been one to curse except through occasional moments in grade school to try to fit in with "cool" people. My ex cursed a lot, mostly to be funny but also when she was angry. My co-workers, and also friends and acquaintances I have met through my acting projects often curse. I find myself uttering a cuss word more often than I ever used to, partially because of these influences, I'm sure, but also because I've allowed myself to not be so uptight about it. And yet, I quickly apologized to God this morning. He forgives, and I'm sure He even understands, but perhaps it's a good reminder for me to guard my tongue so that cursing does not become a habit.
James 3:10-12 says,
"Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water".
Through Jesus' sacrifice, I have been made clean. It doesn't make much sense to muddy myself up through my choices or my speech, and yet that is so easy to do.
"Lord, I'm sorry for the moments when my speech is not pleasing to You. Help me to be more conscientious of this, particularly when I am around others. May the words that flow from my mouth be consistent with that of a man who praises You. Thank you, Jesus. Amen".
Despite having to back-track and then take the freeway to the next exit and navigate back down to the repair shop via side streets (narrowly missing another accident!), I'm happy to report that things went smoothly. A very bubbly young woman named Katie drove me from the shop to Enterprise in Totem Lake where I was given a red Toyota Corolla to cart around in. Although the design doesn't offer great line of vision, it definitely has more power than my Geo! I'll be zooming around in it for the next ten days while my car is getting fixed. God, please keep me safe on the roads.
Normally, I don't attempt to wake up quite so early, but this morning I was FINALLY going to drop of my car at the collision shop. A young man in a Jeep Grand Cherokee ran into my poor Geo almost three weeks ago while I was yielding to oncoming traffic. Seems he didn't notice me when he got distracted by his cell phone. What ensued was a lot of annoyance for me in dealing with insurance to figure out if my car was repairable or considered a complete loss.
I told God my preference was to keep the car, as it's been so reliable for me the past 11 years and I believe it's got several more good years left. Also, I had just spent $1200 on it in November for maintenance work. But, knowing that God knows what is best, I told Him that I'd be willing to give it up if He has something better for me, although I didn't look forward to the prospect of spending time looking for a new vehicle and the general hassle of the car buying experience, let alone possibly accruing more debt to pay off. So on the one hand, it was good news that the insurance adjuster deemed my car salvageable and asked the collision repair shop to fix it despite their misgivings.
This saga has been prolonged for a while and I was happy to finally drop my Geo off this morning before heading to work, hence waking up early. The repair shop is only a five minute drive from my place, but halfway there, a bunch of police officers were directing traffic to go elsewhere! Seems that a power line had fallen and blocked off the road. "Are you kidding me??" I growled under my breath. "Why are the simplest things so HARD!". Actually, the first thing that slipped out of my mouth was a choice cuss word, quickly followed by "Oops, sorry God!"
I've never really been one to curse except through occasional moments in grade school to try to fit in with "cool" people. My ex cursed a lot, mostly to be funny but also when she was angry. My co-workers, and also friends and acquaintances I have met through my acting projects often curse. I find myself uttering a cuss word more often than I ever used to, partially because of these influences, I'm sure, but also because I've allowed myself to not be so uptight about it. And yet, I quickly apologized to God this morning. He forgives, and I'm sure He even understands, but perhaps it's a good reminder for me to guard my tongue so that cursing does not become a habit.
James 3:10-12 says,
"Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water".
Through Jesus' sacrifice, I have been made clean. It doesn't make much sense to muddy myself up through my choices or my speech, and yet that is so easy to do.
"Lord, I'm sorry for the moments when my speech is not pleasing to You. Help me to be more conscientious of this, particularly when I am around others. May the words that flow from my mouth be consistent with that of a man who praises You. Thank you, Jesus. Amen".
Despite having to back-track and then take the freeway to the next exit and navigate back down to the repair shop via side streets (narrowly missing another accident!), I'm happy to report that things went smoothly. A very bubbly young woman named Katie drove me from the shop to Enterprise in Totem Lake where I was given a red Toyota Corolla to cart around in. Although the design doesn't offer great line of vision, it definitely has more power than my Geo! I'll be zooming around in it for the next ten days while my car is getting fixed. God, please keep me safe on the roads.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
And so it begins...
I've found that several of the people that I admire in life keep journals. The idea of journaling has always appealed to me, but aside from a couple of minor stints the past 37 years, I've never made it a discipline. With the advent of blogs now, I'm finding it so much easier and fun to compose and present my thoughts. This is my second blog, having started one several months ago to chronicle my activities as an actor in Seattle. If you are interested, check it out at www.henry-mark.blogspot.com
For this particular blog, I'd like to use it as an avenue to journal my musings and quiet times before God. I love and follow Jesus Christ and acknowledge Him as my Lord and Savior. I believe that He is part of the Divine Trinity: God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I believe God sent Jesus to become a man, to live a perfect and sinless life, and to die on the Cross and be raised three days later in order to pay the penalty for, and establish victory over sin. Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". We all are guilty of sin in our lives, but Christ's sacrifice restores our relationship with God now and for eternity if we lay claim to His gift in our lives by accepting Him as Lord and Savior.
And so it begins. I will regularly post thoughts, prayers and conversations with God as we go along. I have been a Christian for 24 years, so I already have a level of intimacy established with God, but I strive to deepen that relationship even more so. I invite you to track with me on this journey, and though it is a personal one, I am open to comments and dialogue. Just know that my thoughts aren't meant to reflect a particular religious denomination or speak for Christendom as a whole. They are the reflections of one man who strives to be humble before his Creator, someone who strives to be "a man after God's own heart", and who is thankful that after struggling the past couple of years is back at a place where he wants to BE still before God. And so thankful that God in His utmost love and patience, allows me to STILL be before Him.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" - Psalm 46:10
For this particular blog, I'd like to use it as an avenue to journal my musings and quiet times before God. I love and follow Jesus Christ and acknowledge Him as my Lord and Savior. I believe that He is part of the Divine Trinity: God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I believe God sent Jesus to become a man, to live a perfect and sinless life, and to die on the Cross and be raised three days later in order to pay the penalty for, and establish victory over sin. Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". We all are guilty of sin in our lives, but Christ's sacrifice restores our relationship with God now and for eternity if we lay claim to His gift in our lives by accepting Him as Lord and Savior.
And so it begins. I will regularly post thoughts, prayers and conversations with God as we go along. I have been a Christian for 24 years, so I already have a level of intimacy established with God, but I strive to deepen that relationship even more so. I invite you to track with me on this journey, and though it is a personal one, I am open to comments and dialogue. Just know that my thoughts aren't meant to reflect a particular religious denomination or speak for Christendom as a whole. They are the reflections of one man who strives to be humble before his Creator, someone who strives to be "a man after God's own heart", and who is thankful that after struggling the past couple of years is back at a place where he wants to BE still before God. And so thankful that God in His utmost love and patience, allows me to STILL be before Him.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" - Psalm 46:10
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