Inclusion

I've been lamenting for months over what I perceive as a general lack of inclusion among people I become acquainted with. It's not that they're not friendly or pleasant, but there really doesn't seem to be much or any reciprical interest. Is it me? Am I unattractive, uninteresting, un- something? Or is it them? Too busy for a new friend, too insular, too intimidated, too something? Generally, I don't like to complain, and I hate to whine, but this is something that has bothered me for some time now. I tend to feel like it's often up to me to initiate conversation or make the other person feel comfortable, but rarely is that done to me.

Then this weekend something began to shift in my mindset. God's teaching me something. My friend Jonathan, who I recently acted with in the "Prince Caspian" production at Overlake, called me Friday night to see if I wanted to see the motion picture of the same name. During our conversation, he invited me to hang out at Greenlake with his friends the next day and then go to a BBQ at someone's house and then catch the movie. Eager to connect with people, I accepted his invitation and was happy for his inclusion of me.

When I arrived at the lake, I didn't see Jonathan and since he was my link to his friends, I had no idea who else to look for. I left a voicemail on his phone and walked around the grounds doing some people-watching and enjoying the warm day. I noticed two men and a woman playing some grass volleyball and watched them for a while. Since there were only three of them, one would take turns to run to the other side of the net to try to set up a semblance of a rally. After mustering up a bit of verve, I finally asked if they would mind if I joined in for a little while. One of the guys seemed a bit hesitant but relented.

We played 2 on 2 for a while until one of their friends showed up. Meanwhile, Jonathan had returned my call and said he was in another part of the park, but would walk over to where I was. When he showed up, the group was fine with him joining in as well, and we had fun playing several games 3 on 3 before the group retired for the day. Although I may not see any of them ever again, it was nice to develop some camaraderie through playing volleyball. I thanked them for letting us join in and they seemed genuinely glad that we did. It wouldn't have happened, though, if I didn't take the step to include myself.

Along those lines, Pastor Mike in tonight's sermon spoke on serving in the church. He recounted how when he was dating his now wife, that her family first treated him as an honored guest in their house, but over time, he was viewed as family. He said he knew the transition had happened once they treated him like their own and gave him a job like setting up the table for dinner. That analogy helped illustrate how the church is a family where everyone helps out, and while we may be guests for a while, the hope is that we all cross that line from honored guest to family member.

Mike's analogy also had the benefit of helping me think through my mindset of treating myself or others as "guests". While it is always good to honor others, how much better would it be if others felt like I connect and love them as if they are my own family? It's something I need to give more thought to, but it's a worthwhile challenge for me to adjust how I relate and connect with others. Like my volleyball example above, I included myself as if I were family (or belonged), and while the risk is that it could be off-putting to others, I think that fear alone prevents me from having so many meaningful social connections with others because it's easier to "wait" to be invited or included and easier to lament about it when it never happens!

"Father God, thank You for teaching me new things and challenging me on how I do old things. Jesus, thank You for Your example of being all-inclusive and all-loving. Thank You for Your grace and patience with me as I sort through my understanding about how to relate and connect with others. Give me courage, confidence, wisdom and love as I move forward into new service and new relationships, and may they honor and glorify You. Amen".