Bankrupt

"The disease of self runs through my blood, it's a cancer fatal to my soul. Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control. Oh tell me what's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior. This only serves to confirm my suspicion that I'm still a man in need of a Savior".

Some of the lyrics from the song, "In the Light". DC Talk's version of it woke me up this morning on my radio alarm clock. It was a timely and poignant reminder, for I do have times when I despise my behavior and realize that there are things in me that are weak or dark or dirty. I've always been and still am a man who needs a Savior. Thank God I have one in Jesus Christ. I don't know where I'd be without Him, if He hadn't graciously stepped into my life at an early age.

Part of the challenge in being in a long relationship is not being lax with the familiarity. As someone who follows Jesus and experiences His friendship, I've often fallen into the trap of losing sight of how spiritually bankrupt I would be without His presence in my life. I'm thankful for the reminder tonight as I went to the 7 p.m. Illuminate service at Overlake Christian Church.

I love Pastor Mike. He's passionate about Jesus and such a gifted communicator, and God has used him to bless me so much since I've attended Overlake last fall. In his sermon tonight, Mike preached on Luke 11:1-11, where Jesus taught His disciples how to pray. While prayer can be intimate conversation with God, I was reminded that another approach in prayer is great humility with shameless persistence. To "ask, seek and knock" with urgency and desperation, knowing that I am bankrupt without God's provision- be it spiritual, moral, physical, emotional, etc. As Pastor Mike expounded on that section of the Word, I felt the Holy Spirit drop that truth into my soul. It's what I needed to hear, and I am strengthened and encouraged by it.

"Lord, You are the Holy One and my Great Provider. I ask Your forgiveness for my recent stumblings, for not drawing close to Your Spirit and instead choosing my own way. I am bankrupt without You. I ask that You lead and open up opportunities for me to connect with men and women who love You and seek hard after You, that I would not be alone on this often lonely journey. Thank You for Your grace and Your gentle and strong love. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, for I am a man in need of a Savior. In His Name I pray, Amen".